Once more with feeling

Another little ditty for the post-Valentine's/winter blues . . .

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Roses are red
But re: the hue of violets, let us not dicker
If you'd stop texting for a moment
This bad sex we're having might go quicker

My (allegedly) funny valentines

"Heart Rotating" by BodyParts3D/Anatomography
CC BY-SA 2.1 jp via Wikimedia Commons

Some doggerel to digest on the most sickeningly sweet of all days. (I say this, and I'm quite happily attached at the moment. Thanks for asking.)

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Roses are red
Violets, aromatic
You take my breath away
But, then again, I'm asthmatic

* * *

Roses are red
And may fire passion in romantics
You're so smoking hot babe
But I quit the habit thanks to Chantix

* * *


Roses are red
The fading embers of dying love, so ashen
That burning sensation in your loins?
Alas, it's not residue passion
(See a doctor, stat)

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Roses petals are read
Tea leaves can be, too
I predict a long, happy future
In a parallel universe without you

* * *

Roses are red
Billy Ocean records, two a penny
You could get into the backseat of my car baby
But I drive a Mini

* * *

Roses are red
And may spawn violent emotion
Our love's a Michael Bay movie
We go from explosion to explosion to explosion!!!

* * *

Roses are red
Life preservers are clingy
You're out of your depth
If you think I'm going down on your dinghy
(Oh my!)

* * *

Happy Valentine's Day all! And if Valentine's Day ain't your thang, then remember, it's also International Book-Giving Day--a far more worthy, satisfying, and loving exercise than eating leftover chunks of Toblerone for breakfast.

(Not that I'm naming names.)

Moves like swagger

Not a duet I knew about before--Janis Joplin meets Tom Jones. Not even a duet I could have imagined. You just don't see this kind of power and energy in a performance very often.

I've never been a fan of Janis Joplin's voice (other than in Big Brother and the Holding Company's "Piece of My Heart," which I think is quite brilliant). Nonetheless, it's impossible to deny what an incredible singer and performer she was. If Wikipedia is to be believed (and who knows what truth is most days?), some of the comments made about her by classmates at her Port Arthur, Texas, high school and when she was at university only seem to focus on her looks--or her perceived lack thereof. And I just want to say, screw you, frat boys and mean girls. You were in the presence of a greatness you will never achieve, and you were too stupid and cruel to recognize.

Ahh, but I must admit that my stumbling upon this video was for less than noble reasons--I was really looking for videos of Mr. Sex Bomb himself, Tom Jones, and his amazing thrusting hips voice.

Hips don't lie: Tom is incredibly talented as a performer and a singer, and I was fortunate to see a more mature him in concert in Las Vegas a few years ago. I think he suffers from a certain Gino Vannelli Syndrome--his talent and art sometimes lost in the sweat and steam of his looks and sexuality. I mean, in both cases, if I stumbled upon a sex tape of them (each of them, mind you, not necessarily together; although . . .), I wouldn't be disappointed.

Shallow? Yes. Tawdry? You bet! But at least I appreciate greatness when I see it--even if it's sometimes for the wrong reasons.