Saturday, September 29, 2018

Animals that look like Brett Kavanaugh

I wish I could take credit for this specific juxtaposition of images. Someone on Twitter beat me to it and, frankly, did a better job than me.

This has been a theme rolling around in my head all week, given the angry, petulant, hysterical, aggressive, and highly partisan behavior of a man who sucks at job interviews. Hello, angry drunk possum! Meet angry drunk rapey mendacious candidate for the Supreme Court of the United States, Brett Kavanaugh!

I personally might have gone with an angry cornered badger, just not necessarily a honey badger, which seems at least to have a useful purpose in life. I also considered a weasel and a ferret, although I don't think they are particularly aggressive or prone to assaulting women. 

A gaboon viper or a spitting cobra might also be a contender, one of those animals that serves no other purpose than to kill people that startle it. (Sorry, I can't bring myself to post a pic of one or the other. You and Google Images are on your own.)

But, truly, an embittered possum in a nest of beer cans--and Miller High Life, no more, no less, the "champagne of beers"--really is the coup de graceless.

Bravo, Twitter! You may offer the sensory overload of standing in the middle of large party with everyone alternating between drunk-crying, drunk-laughing, and drunk-screaming but occasionally something useful cuts through the bile. And this week it was a possum with a beer tooth and a federal judge in need of an anger management course or a prison sentence, take yer pick.

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