Droopy is the head that wears the crown

Bill Barr, attempting to crown himself

Separated at birth: U.S. Attorney General and all-around authoritarian wannabe William Barr and Droopy.

Separated at birth: Ted Cruz and Mummenschanz

Ted Cruz speaking at CPAC 2015 in Washington, DC
by Gage Skidmore; CC BY-SA 3.0

Luckily for Mummenschanz, they can change their face at any time.

For this post, I created a label for "Ted Cruz." I suspect I'm going to be using that a lot this coming election season.

Why the snark toward Cuba Badding, Jr.? Read this. 

Now I could be generous and say that Ted is not referring specifically to gay people as the wagers of jihad against a narrowly defined, exclusive, and self-anointed Christian America--instead perhaps he is referring to all those who stood up against the recent "religious freedom" laws passed in Indiana and Arkansas, straight, gay, and otherwise, alike. (Although I'm sure Ted's bi--as in binary--and can't necessarily fathom the B and the T, let alone the Q, the other Q, the I, or the A, the LGBT spectrum--and truth be told, my head kind of explodes a little once we get past the T.)

Alas, I just grabbed this off the web
like a vulgarian

Nonetheless, it is awfully charged language very early on in what promises to be a 2000- or 2004-styled presidential campaign: No clear leader in the race coupled with simmering resentment that things have gone "too far" with gay rights, discussions and protests over economic and social inequality, heightened awareness of lingering racial discrimination, and "socialism" (aka, anything that's not Ayn Rand-influenced capitalism). Add that to a feeling of disenfranchisement among some (perhaps justified in some cases--poor to lower middle class whites--but not in others--upper middle class to wealthy whites) et voilà! You got yourself one humdinger of a powder keg waiting to blow.

And along comes Teddy with a lit match in the form of jihad-loving gay folk.

Once again, as a gay man, I am alternately the most powerful, dangerous force in the universe, and somehow simultaneously the weakest. How does that keep happening?

But enough of this whining: Let's turn the tables a bit.

Dearest Ted Cruz, your presidential campaign so far is like an ISIS beheading of a humanitarian aid worker. Your pandering to the lowest common denominator among the right-wing electorate is like a Boko Haram kidnapping of the under-14 female population of a Nigerian village. Your antagonistic belief system is like an Al Shabab car bombing in a crowded marketplace.

Oh, and your face? Genocide, pure and simple.

I don't know that I solved anything with that diatribe, and I do feel a tad guilty for making fun of someone's looks, something they can do little about.

But, Ted, you started this mess by throwing down the rhetorical gauntlet and throwing up whatever hate speech was in your gut. So pardon me, all, if I choose not to play nice.

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Good analysis of the issue by the Young Turks.

Separated at birth II

Newt Gingrich and the Stay Puft Marshallow Man

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Damn. I just realized Jon Stewart & Company made this same comparison a few weeks ago. Oh well. If you're gonna inadvertently copy, copy from the best. And, Newt, let's just say that Stay Puft is not the look you should be copying . . .

Separated at birth

Colleen Dewhurst and Ozzy Osbourne