Big pumpin'

Where is Michael Phelps' mother when you need her as a footwear model?

As my friend Cali would say, "Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot."

Yes, friends, it's a stiletto-styled tape dispenser, in red, black, and zebra print, snapped at Office Max near Pittsburgh Mills.

Who says we don't need unions in this country? I think any good collectivist organization worth its muscle and members' dues would strike against this faster than you can say "hostile workplace."