Not-so-secret squirrel

I can't even explain this. It's like trying to explain Pittsburgh. 

And six years into living here, I really don't know how to.

OK, how about this? It's like Baltimore without John Waters to reveal it to everyone.

And with no crabs, just pierogies. Cooler summers, worse winters, lots of hills, and no water taxis.

And obviously squirrels with brass keys.