Some random TV offerings from Rogers Cable, suburban Toronto, June 2014. Please cast your eye beyond Juicy Black . . . and instead gaze upon the porn title, Canadian Quickies.
Now I will spend the rest of the weekend thinking up ridiculous titles for "Canadian quickies."
To-rut-oh! with Love (?)
Canada Goosing (?)
Have You Been Ridden by a Ford Lately? (?) (In homage to Hogtown's illustrious mayor)
Frottage Country (?) (Based on the expression "Cottage Country," used by Torontonians to refer to the Owen Sound-Barrie-Muskoka area north of the city near Lake Huron)
Other versions of "Cottage Country," which I'm too much of a gentleman to repeat . . .
And all those variations on a theme of beaver.
It's only going to go downhill from here. You've been forewarned.
* * *
All in all, though, it's not proving as promising as the recent discussion with my friends, Two P's in a Pod, in which we tried to develop 19th-century porn titles based on works of American and British literature.
While we have many nominees--
The Scarlet Leatherman
Uncle Tom of Finland's Cabin
Daisy-Chain Miller
Some Tail in Two Cities
The best one--The Importance of Being Harnessed--wasn't even mine.
