Worst kept secret

Who wants to be a vermillionaire?

I don't. Worst. Gameshow. Ever.

But I think I've figured something out. Burnt Umber Berlusconi's approach to politicking is akin to the marketing campaign for Rhonda Byrnes's The Secret.

"I know The Secret! And I'll tell it to you--in my book, available for just $39.99. Call now! Operators are standing by!"

Except that instead of selling anything, Creamsicle Mussolini keeps saying, "I know A Secret! Keep tuning in and I'll tell you . . . on Tuesday! Or maybe Wednesday! Not sure yet!"

True enough, we're not being asked to buy any specific product, but I'm sure we'll all end up paying one way or another.

Thanks to all those who voted for him, to those who felt it necessary to issue a protest vote, and to those who didn't vote at all. I'll wave at you from the northern side of Lake Ontario--although I'm not sure that will put out or just fan the flames of Conflagration, America's Favorite Bored Game.™

Oh well. You were great while you lasted, land of the free, home of the brave.

Sorry!

Back at work yesterday after two weeks off for the winter recess/holiday break/holiday-that-must-not-be-named. Lately on Facebook, I've taken to referring to work (and my boss) as the board game (or bored game?) Parcheesi. It's a none-too-subtle way to bitch about my job and the associated ridiculousness of it all while keeping it light and breezy, reminding myself and others not to take it too seriously.

And sometimes I'm actually successful at that. Well, every once and a while.

But yesterday, the first day when everyone was back after Christmas and New Year's, Chanukah and Kwanzaa, was more like a game of Battleship or Stratego. Or Chutes and Ladders, as one friend put it. Or Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots with a Barrel of Monkeys thrown in for good measure.

Or Sorry! as another friend said.

But when I think of Sorry! I think of this:



The Carol Burnett Show's classic Eunice and Mama sketch of the most dysfunctional, passive-aggressive (or perhaps just aggressive) family let lose on American culture (other than Dick Cheney's family, of course). It's the perfect homage to my workplace: Obsessive rule-making, using the rules as a cudgel, hurt feelings, recounting of past grievances, constant recriminations, insincere claims of "Sorry!" when offenses occur . . . .

And on and on and on.

Part two is worth a look as well:



"It looks like we're all going to be stuck here for a while!"

Sadly, yes, we are.

Here's hoping to new opportunities for me and for all of us in 2015.