Streetcar Stories: Hot fuss in Hogtown

"Flexity Outlook" on Spadina Avenue by Booledozer. Public Domain.
Via Wikimedia Commons.

[Author's note: This text was written while riding the 510 Spadina streetcar in Toronto on June 28, 2019.]

There's a group of elderly New Yorkers on my streetcar right now, two male-female couples easily in their 70s. Footloose and fancy-free in America's hat: Canada.

That accent is a dead giveaway. But who am I kidding? At this point in life, everyone living between Philadelphia and Boston sounds the same to me. I've never had a good ear for the nuances of Yankee accents; it's even worse now that I live in Canada.

One of the older gentleman is wearing a Killers t-shirt, aka The Killers, the contemporary rock group from Nevada.

Or so I'm assuming. He could just be advertising his default approach to problem-solving.

Killer is also the crankiest, snarliest member of the group.

Partner: "Have a seat. You should sit down before you fall."

Killer: " I don't wanna sit down! I wanna go to Chinatown!"

Killer groused for a while longer until a woman riding on the car told him that Chinatown is a way's off and that he should have a seat and relax (as if!), that she'll let him know where the stop is.

But sit down he did and stay mostly quiet. But then his fellow travelers started in.

"Is this Chinatown?"

"Is it this stop?"

Announcer: "This is Queen Street. The next stop is Sullivan Street."

"Is this Dundas?"

"Where is Chinatown?!"

Finally the lady who helped earlier told them to exit early and walk up the street.

"Which way is up the street?"

🤦🏻‍♂️

So lessons learned:

• Canadians are nice, but only up to a point. I think the Canadian woman offering assistance finally just gave up on their sad-sackcloth and ashes routine and told them to exit early. And I can't say that I blame her.
• Americans are less nice - at least this American is. I would have left the car much earlier and prayed they ended up murdered moments later by disgruntled former cast members of Canada's answer to the soap opera (smh!), Degrassi Junior High.
• Toxic New Yorkers are the world's worst ambassadors. And if you need further proof, take a gander the Baby-in-Chief in Japan this week, who has managed to sell us out to the Russians, the North Koreans, the Chinese, and the Saudis. Winning! So much winning!
• Toxic New Yorkers are why we should very carefully select our next president--unless we like being yelled at by confused, irritable, clueless, nasty-tempered, and perpetually aggrieved seniors on a non-stop basis.

And looking at the 2016 election process and results, whether it's Bernie or Babyshambles, apparently many of us do.