I voted

"I voted sticker" by Dwight Burdle.
Courtesy of Wikipedia Commons. CC BY 3.0.

I woke up this morning remembering the first time I voted. It was the 1980 (!) presidential election. For one brief weird moment, my brothers Frank and Charlie and myself were all living in Greenville, North Carolina, and I think all attending East Carolina University as well.

We had to drive from Greenville to Swansboro, North Carolina (about a 2-hour trip one-way) to vote. As students, we weren't allowed to vote locally but had to go to our home polling station. I think the polls were located at the Swansboro post office or city hall--I can't remember for sure.

Afterwards we probably went to our parents' house for dinner. Maybe we drove back to Greenville that evening. I don't recall.

I don't even recall who I voted for. Was John Anderson running that year? Along with Jimmy Carter, Ted Kennedy, and Ronald Reagan? It's kind of a blur but one thing shines through --

No way in hell did I vote for Ronald Reagan.

So think about that for a moment--My options that election involved a guy who starred in the movie Bedtime for Bonzo and another guy who drove off a bridge in Massachusetts and left his mistress for dead. I may not have felt passionate about my choice that year, but I hope I at least voted strategically. Some years that is your best option. For many of us this year, that may indeed be our best option, although I remain #WithHer, however cautiously.

Good luck today, America! I miss the thrill (yes, thrill) of voting in person. Absentee ballots may have the cachet of "ex pat" about them, but it's a rather solitary act. Voting should be an exercise in community building. And as with any exercise, it feels good to work that muscle every now and again.

* * *

I get the sinking feeling I voted for John Anderson. So much for voting strategically.

Missing inaction

Ted Cruz searches for his conscience but fails to find it.

No worries, though. I'm sure he's keeping it in a safe place. One so dark, cold, and airless that upon discovery, it would quickly disintegrate, leaving behind only dust and the smell of sulfur.

His humanity and intelligence are probably there, too.

But I'm making a lot of unfounded assumptions . . . .

Reasonable behavior

Barack and Michelle Obama with Joe Biden and his wife Jill
Credit: I, Daniel Schwen, CC-BY-SA 3.0

Sorry I was late for work this morning. It was because  . . .

• I was busy doing a victory lap through 25 26 states and the District of Columbia.

• I was marrying my same-sex life partner in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, and possibly Washington State.

• I was opening a pharmacy that specializes in dispensing only medical marijuana and birth control pills.

• I was busy not shutting things down.

• I was getting Rocky Mountain high.

• I was out buying more condoms for my next porn film (valid in California only).

And the one that I didn't have the nerve to post on Twitter . . .

• I was busy giving safe and legal abortions in the privacy of my own bedroom.

Boom!

Solid!

Looney tunes and merry melodies

America: We're not barbaric. We're Hanna-Barbaric!

Learn to laugh at us and with us, and nobody'll get hurt.

Now vote, y'all!