Reasonable behavior

Barack and Michelle Obama with Joe Biden and his wife Jill
Credit: I, Daniel Schwen, CC-BY-SA 3.0

Sorry I was late for work this morning. It was because  . . .

• I was busy doing a victory lap through 25 26 states and the District of Columbia.

• I was marrying my same-sex life partner in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, and possibly Washington State.

• I was opening a pharmacy that specializes in dispensing only medical marijuana and birth control pills.

• I was busy not shutting things down.

• I was getting Rocky Mountain high.

• I was out buying more condoms for my next porn film (valid in California only).

And the one that I didn't have the nerve to post on Twitter . . .

• I was busy giving safe and legal abortions in the privacy of my own bedroom.

Boom!