Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Shake, rattle, and roll

Well, wouldn't you know? The first time I'm in the vicinity of an earthquake, I miss the dang thing! Damn my Death Star fortress of an office building. Takes all the fun out of living dangerously.

Actually, truth be told, nearly everyone around me felt some jolt, rumble, bump, or something due to yesterday's 5.9-er in Central Virginia. Once again, I was too busy trying to be entertaining to notice.

So no earthquake for me. But how dare nature try to steal my moment!

Because no one we know seems to have been hurt--although more than a few were startled by the fact that nature does indeed happen in the elitist section of the country--I put together this little tacky homage to shakin', rattlin', and rollin', East Coast Stylee.

Enjoy. And duck and cover as necessary.



Little Boots, "Earthquake"



Jesse McCartney, "Shake"; OK, I'm sorry for this. He looks like Alfalfa from the Lil Rascals trying to get down, doesn't he? (I thought he was blond. And older. But maybe that's Aaron Carter. They all run together after a while.) Plus, lyrically, this is so juvenile and offensive, not to mention implausible. I mean, has he even reached puberty yet in this video? Is he even attracted to women? Pitiful. But, pop slut that I am, I love the sound of it, especially that little "shake-shake-shake-shake-shake" at the bottom of the chorus. I'm so ashamed, but then I didn't write or perform the thing. So, what, me worry?



Kelis, "Milkshake"; god, I hate the mix of this song.



Metro Station, "Shake It"; equally shameful in its own way--you just don't see it because the band's so emo-looking.



The Cars, "Shake It Up"



Peaches & Herb, "Shake Your Groove Thing"



KC & the Sunshine Band, "Shake Your Booty"



Carole King, "I Feel the Earth Move"; can't take credit for this one--my friend The Music Lover came up with this one.



Bill Haley & The Comets, "Shake, Rattle, and Roll"

That's all I got! Sorry, not doing Lil Wayne's "Earthquake" or Tori Amos's "Little Earthquakes." Things weren't that bad.


* * *

Favorite quote from the earthquake news coverage (from CNN):

"Shortly after the quake struck, traders in the New York Stock Exchange also felt the quake and shouted to each other, 'Keep trading!' CNN's business correspondent Alison Kosik reported from the floor at 2:20 p.m. E.T."

Heaven forbid anyone or anything should interrupt capitalism's long march toward the future.

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