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| Photo courtesy CBS News/AP |
There are so many things wrong with this story. Where to begin?
First of all, I refuse to believe that Amish women are this ugly. I've seen plenty around Pennsylvania and despite eschewing moisturizer and makeup, they look lovely to me. Not like . . . this.
As my friend Vicious said, "Harrison Ford he ain't."
Hell, he's not even Tennessee Ernie Ford . . . Edsel Ford . . . or even Rob Ford.
Second of all, as my mother Vivien Leigh kept repeating, "But why a woman?"
Whose bright idea was it to dress up as a woman to lure a potential child predator? Was it the cop's? Really? I mean, dressing up as an Amish man just wasn't feasible? It seemed somehow savvier and stealthier and more appropriate to dress up as an Amish woman to lure the creep out into the open? Huh. Who'd have thunk.
I guess we should be grateful said policeman didn't decide to dress up as an Amish child.
Third of all, as my friend the Gladman put it, "Wait a minute, which one's the pervert?"
Exactly. Except that, for the record, I'm not bothered by this experiment in gender-bending. I'm just more, like, why pretend, dude? Hello, Pot, this is Kettle calling . . .
But I leave the best response until last. Courtesy of my friend Svetlana Amerikana:
"Ladies and gentlemen, meet the winner of Ru Paul's Buggy Race."
Oh, how I wish I had said that . . .
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