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| Now this is gay. "Liberace Colour Allan Warren" by Allan Warren (own work). Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons. |
A suggestion from my sister, the Journo: "Next let's hear from Senator Lindsey Graham . . . ." Good ol' Lindsey "I do declare I'm gettin' the vapors" Graham.
In a related vein, "That's so gay!" Unless you're talking about talking about a group of rainbow-flag-waving LGBT people singing a rousing rendition of "We Are Family" or about Liberace's rhinestone undergarment collection, I just don't want to hear it.
In summation: Gay = homosexual, OK. Gay = camp, also OK. Gay = stupid, very much not OK.
And more of the same: "We're tired of having homosexuality forced/shoved/crammed down our throats." Hey, have you met my good friend, Dr. Freudian S. Lip?
But let's not be one-sided: "We can get married! We have overcome!" Well, we've got the two grooms or two brides on the top of the wedding cake, but we haven't even begun to deal with ingredients for the cake itself. Get crackin' some eggs and siftin' some flour.
Or even "He's hot!" said my gay men everywhere. Really? That's not much of a matrix for happiness, love, safety, satisfaction, and comfort in a relationship.
Also applicable to gay men: "I was watching Sex and the City, and I think I'm just like Carrie!" No. You're one part Charlotte, two parts Samantha. I'm a Miranda (first name, Carmen). Carrie is either dead or a myth.
"Now that we have a black [fill in the blank], we live in a post-racial society." Ha bloody ha.
"A young black man was killed during an altercation with a police officer today . . . ." See what I mean?
"Newt Gingrich." No way, no how, no where, no time.
"There was another mass shooting in the U.S. today . . . ."
"It's my Second Amendment right to . . . " muster a state militia? Sure. Own an assault weapon and carry it to a shopping mall "for effect"? No.
"Poor people are just lazy. They just need to pick themselves up by their bootstraps. I know one poor person who is now a millionaire!" By the way, bootstraps will not be provided. You'll have to make your own. What, you can't afford the ingredients for bootstraps? Well, try harder!
"Trailer trash." There is nothing wrong or trashy about living in a trailer. I did it myself for the first six years of my life. Sometimes that's the only housing available. Sometimes that's all people can afford. Sometimes it's just a trailer. Hell, half of America's retirees live in trailers in Florida. Try to be less judgy.
"The secret to losing weight is . . . ." Does anyone really know anymore? Could it be a different "secret" for each of us, depending on body type, lifestyle, food preferences, heritage, etc.?
"I'm a librarian" = "I love cats" and/or "I love Star Trek/Star Wars/gaming/Neil Gaiman/books/etc." Not necessarily. My nerdy stuff is probably different to your nerdy stuff. South African soap operas, ABBA, '70s disco, Belgian-made breakfast spreads. And I love cats along as they act like dogs.
"Open access" will set us free/destroy Elsevier/turn water into wine/create cold fusion/etc. It has its role to play, but . . . . let's just say I'm wary of evangelism and fundamentalism of all stripes. And I have to talk about this professional topic every damn day.
"Muslims are [complete negative stereotype]." I happen to know some lovely people who are Muslim, online and in person. Just as I know some wonderful Christians, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, atheists, agnostics, questioners, non-joiners, pagans, and what have you. No one group represents all the evil or stupidity in the world except in the simplest of minds.
"There is no god. It's all just science." Personally, I have no idea. I don't even think I care. To me, it's all about what you want it to be, what gets you through the day, what adds structure to your life, what helps you to help others, what prevents you from doing harm to others. As long as you don't impose your beliefs on others in a way that causes misery and suffering, you're probably doing OK.
And if it does turn out to be all about science, I am going to be really bored well into eternity. (Assuming there is one.) As it was, I barely got through high school biology and chemistry.
I'm sure I have others, but this should do for now.
For now.
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