Mother I'd like to pluck

The obvious sequel: Fifty Shades of Gravy and Mashed Potatoes

Hot off the grill! Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) releases a romance novel, Tender Wings of Desire, just in time for Mother's Day--because apparently in the U.S. a meal from KFC is Mom's big treat on her special day.

The novella is set in Victorian England and features Harland, a mysterious sailor (from Kentucky?), and the desperate choice of Lady Madeline Parker: Will it be an ordeal of precision poultry penetration? Or a life of mad, passionate plucking?

There's a video to advertise the book (see the link above), but for the life of me, I can't figure out why sexy, shirtless Jesus was called upon to shill chicken and romance.

Fishes and loaves, sure, but breasts and thighs? Well, pluck me.

Such a bargain!

And yet, even at 50% off, I still can't be arsed to read this.

My biggest amazement at seeing a copy of this on the shelves? Well, heck, who knew you could now craft a lying sack of shit and venom into a book-like object.

Actually, truth be told, I was tempted to buy a copy. Then take said copy out into the woods, get drunk, and shoot it in the face with my hunting rifle.

Just for giggles.

And, by the way, Dick, you got that title right: In My Time.

As in, your time--the Cold War, the 1950s, the Vietnam era, the Nixon and Reagan reigns of error--passed a long time ago. It's just that you wouldn't let go of it and somehow convinced and coerced a nation to believe you still knew what you were talking about, long after you ceased to be relevant.

Bravo, I guess.