Slav to the rhythm

Melania Week continues!

"It is not concern and focus of mine," she said. "I'm a mother and a first lady, and I have much more important things to think about and to do."

"Things like 'What ridiculous-looking, developing nation budget-busting outfit will I wear to meet the President of Burkina Faso?' or 'How constipated should I look for this photo op with these Border children?' or 'If I slap my husband's paw away, will it cause the Twitter to go apeshit?' or 'Do I have a child? And what is his name? Is it Eric?' You know, important things like that. Things that matter."

Melania Trump: The gift that keeps on giving ... the gift of comedy. Or the gift of nausea. Or the gift of dreaming about the return of the guillotine. Take yer pick. 

Poor little rich model

Oh, please.

Try this:

1) Pick a better husband.

2) Don't repeat his birther lies.

3) Don't pretend you didn't cheat your way to an Einstein visa.

4) Do something meaningful other than your fake "Be Best" campaign.

5) Stop seeing yourself as a victim when you are clearly not--or at least not for the reasons you think you are.

Seriously, if you and that orang-uturd you're married to and those inbred in-laws of yours had made the slightest effort to bring people together instead of sowing disinformation and driving an even bigger wedge between people, maybe you'd be less "bullied." Maybe you would have ended up with much better results for your modest efforts. Maybe you might be liked or respected, however begrudgingly.

But y'all went in a completely different direction (remember "American carnage"?), so reap what you sow, babe.

Soft serve

From Bloomberg News, 10 October 2018.

Guuuuuuuuuurrrrllll...

Come on now. You know your man ain't provided really hard evidence in a very long time.

Pleading the pith

For your consideration ... may I humbly suggest to you that the next United States Ambassador to the United Nations should be ... Melania Trump!

Here me out:

She is glamorous. As Our Fearless Leader has already noted, Nikki Haley made the job of UN ambassador look glamorous again--and that is perhaps the real meaning of MAGA, Make America Glamorous Again, in a particularly gilded age, sketchy finances, Queens-to-Manhattan way. Melania could continue what Nikki started. She's a model, so style over substance is what she excels at.

She would be his second choice, after Ivanka, and this is likely not the first time that has happened, so she's used to it.

She speaks something like 250 languages. If she speaks only half of them with the joie de vivre that she communicates in English, we're sure to reduce our chance of global warfare by at least .05%.

She could return to New York, where, like Eva Gabor before her, she would rather stay. (She gets allergic smelling hay, I'm assuming.)

She's so smart! She came to America on an "Einstein visa" even after having her photo taken dressed in a bikini, kissing an inflatable whale. (No, not that whale.)

She already has the wardrobe for international travel and diplomacy. (See photos.)

She's--let's be honest--useless, which is much how the Trump administration views the UN. Thus we can all focus legitimately on what she's wearing and not what she's doing because she won't be doing anything!

It's the circle of life. Sort of.

From Asia with Love

So glad to see Blofeld and Rosa Klebb out and about and enjoying their tour of Asia.