Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Mentl as anything

Alas, I don't own the copyright for this splendid photo,
and I'm quite sure it's not in the public domain. The photographer
is George Etheredge of the
New York Times; the photo was
published in a profile about DJTJr in the March 18, 2017,
"Style" section of the
Times. If you don't already subscribe to
the
Times, you should: It produces excellent journalism.
I am a subscriber, and I'd encourage you to be one as well.
It's one of the chief ways that we can contribute to
fostering democracy and transparency in government.
"Papa?"

"Papa!"

"Papa, can you hear me?!"

The Great White Way's latest hit is Mentl, starring Donald Trump, Jr., Donald Trump, Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, Paul Manafort, Jeff Sessions, Michael Flynn, and an ever-growing stack of Russian nesting dolls, each one with a smaller and smaller sense of morality.

It's a sad, strange musical put on by the worst cast imaginable. It had tryouts in New York and bankrupted a number of theaters and backers. So why its backers imagined that this show would play well in Washington is anyone's guess.

With a little luck and a lot of determination by the critiques, hopefully the show will close before too many more performances ruin the stage in America forever.

Monday, June 19, 2017

Feel it still



This is my official groove of the week: "Feel It Still" by Portugal. The Man.

Hey, I don't name 'em.

It even makes my arthritic left knee want to dance--which I did just yesterday in my apartment, to no ill effect other than embarrassing myself in front of any neighbor who might have taken a gander through my open blinds.

I have no idea what the video is about, nor do I care. I rather wish all new videos just offered a creative setting for a straight performance with out all the "I'm getting my money's worth out of my film school degree" techniques, which ultimately are rather yawnable or just ruin a perfectly good song. Less is more. And some things are better left to one's imagination.

Any similarities to "Le Palladium" and every other 1960s (in situ or -esque) James Bond/surf punk tune is purely incoincidental, I can assure you.

Friday, June 16, 2017

Dance this mess around


It's Friday. It's time to hippy hippy shake it with "Le palladium" by Liz Brady, "une femme de Paris," who was actually born in Cairo to French and Greek parents.

This song is currently being used in a Stella Artois commercial in North America (the one with the guy doing "hat tricks" at a party).

Oh la la. Groovy man.

Saturday, June 03, 2017

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Love come down



The Black Ties performing a new version of the Evelyn "Champagne" King hit from yesteryear (aka my youth), "Love Come Down."

Such cheeky fun. This put me in a good mood. I hope it will you as well.

Tuesday, May 09, 2017

Mother I'd like to pluck

The obvious sequel: Fifty Shades of Gravy and Mashed Potatoes
Hot off the grill! Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) releases a romance novel, Tender Wings of Desire, just in time for Mother's Day--because apparently in the U.S. a meal from KFC is Mom's big treat on her special day.

The novella is set in Victorian England and features Harland, a mysterious sailor (from Kentucky?), and the desperate choice of Lady Madeline Parker: Will it be an ordeal of precision poultry penetration? Or a life of mad, passionate plucking?

There's a video to advertise the book (see the link above), but for the life of me, I can't figure out why sexy, shirtless Jesus was called upon to shill chicken and romance.

Fishes and loaves, sure, but breasts and thighs? Well, pluck me.


Thursday, April 27, 2017

Meanwhile in Canada, spontaneous combusion is real, y'all

Image from the CBC news website; retrieved 27 April 2017;
no copyright claimed
Meanwhile in Canada, spontaneous combustion is real, y'all, and apparently imminent.

If a fire hydrant explodes, it should put out a fire, not set aflame everything within a 30,000-mile radius, n'est-ce pas?

Worst photo ever--and yet it captures the subject's likeness perfectly.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Meanwhile in Canada, people are getting high the natural way

Nabbed from the CBC News website; retrieved 26 April 2017;
no copyright claimed


We're getting high in Canada, even before they've legalized marijuana! (Coming soon to a stoner's backyard in early 2018.)

Monday, April 17, 2017

Put the Easter egg in the basket

Beautiful, yes, but just a humble box of Paas egg dye will do.
Bulgarian orthodox Easter Eggs by Ikonact. 7 April 2007.
CC BY-SA 3.0; Wikimedia Commons.
Easter has never been an important holiday for me, in part because it has rarely resulted in a day off (although in Canada at least Good Friday is a holiday) and in part because of sunrise services as a child. I'm not a morning person--despite the fact that I'm writing this at 7 am on Easter Monday. Insomnia is not the same as being a night owl, by the by.

Yes, I know I'm missing the point, that Easter is not all about me and my very special needs, as rich and detailed as they may be. I'll save the exhaustive theological philosophizing for another time (and another person--again, not really my thing), but the religious aspects of the Easter story just do not add up for me. I'm not an atheist, but I am a realist. I'm intrigued by the idea of Jesus, but I just don't know that I should take his life story literally, that I consider him the one true Son of God, and that he died for my sins. (Because wouldn't that mean I get a free pass into eternity?) And don't even get me going on the Resurrection. Color me confused on this and many other aspects of Easter.

This blasphemy, oddly enough, is in no way meant to besmirch Jesus as a human being or as holy person. My issue with Jesus is and has always been with his adherents, not the man himself. I suspect Jesus was a loving, intelligent, contemplative man who questioned authority and immediately endedf up on the wrong side of society and the law. It's an age-old story, although I would be hard-pressed to come up with anyone currently alive who is cut from the same cloth. Edward Snowden? Don't make me laugh! See, the thing is, to be Christ-like, you have to be unaware and unconcerned that you're being Christ-like.

I reckon the last person on Earth that deserves the crown, at least as far as I'm aware of, was Nelson Mandela. May this great human being rest in peace and continue to teach us about strength and forgiveness for generations to come.

* * *

In short, I have never had any talent for being a Christian. 

Plus in matters secular, I have never had any talent for finding Easter eggs. This carries over in other areas of my life: Sometimes I just can't see beyond the surface of things, or rather, I can't see the particular thing I should see because of all the clutter of the other things I see. Let's be kind and call it "sensory overload," but it could be that I'm just very, very dense.

The one time I was successful at Easter egg-hunting is also one of my favorite Easter memories. We were visiting my grandparents for Easter, as we often did (so, see, this holiday was important to at least some of my family), who lived on a small farm in Eastern North Carolina. It was pouring rain, so we couldn't hunt for Easter eggs outside, which given my general lack of expertise in this area was perhaps secretly a blessing to me.

Nonetheless, my family hid the eggs inside the house for my cousins and me to find. I was probably still a failure as a "hunter" that day, but I did at least find some eggs that time--and if I recall correctly, I found them more than once because we hunted Easter eggs repeatedly inside the house on that rainy day. Those eggs were cracked and squishy to touch by the end of that day, dirty from so much rough handling, but that is what I remember most and cherish about Easter.

Oh, and the candy, of course. Chocolate, of course, and now later in life, I've come to appreciate jelly beans, although as kid I thought they just looked weird and their pleasures too fleeting.

I don't know why you should care about any of this, but it's my weird way of saying Happy Easter, Happy Passover, Happy Spring, Happy Sunday, Happy Three-Day Weekend, Happy whatever you may or may not celebrate.

In this time of birth and renewal, here's to your successful hunting and gathering of whatever you may be looking for.

Saturday, April 08, 2017

This is Syrious, Part 2

Carrie doesn't live here anymore
I nabbed this from a Facebook friend. I have no idea where he got this from--maybe he created it himself.

Regardless of the source, it is brilliant. A tip of the hat to its creator.

Saturday, March 25, 2017

I'm a lumberjack and I'm definitely not OK

. . . with this shit.

Douchebags in the woods: The no. 1 cause of suicide homicide in the lumberjack community.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Canada remembers: Who shot J.R. Ewing?

From the Canadian tabloid 24 Hours (Toronto)
Canada remembers who shot J.R. Ewing in 1980.

However, it doesn't remember that J.R. was seriously wounded, not actually killed in 1980.

Sigh.

Thursday, February 09, 2017

I can see Canada from my house

"Palin while visiting Ketchikan during her gubernatorial
campaign in 2006
" by Bob Weinstein. CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported.
I'm seeing buzz on Twitter this morning that Sarah Palin may be nominated as United States ambassador to Canada.

As the kids might say, 😲

Or maybe, 😳

Or maybe, 🙄

Or maybe we're all just laughing our tuques off.

A few quick observations--
  • What did Canada ever do to hurt the U.S. so badly? Yes, some Canadians could earn an Olympic medal in patting themselves on the back, being self-satisfied about their nation and their lives compared to their American cousins. But is that any reason to inflict Sarah Palin on them--or anyone? I mean, if the Trump administration is so interested in torture, might I suggest letting Sarah set up her own Abu Graib-like black ops re-education center somewhere outside of Kotzebue?
  • So much for the northern escape route. You thought you could treat Canada once again as your safety school (thank you, Stephen Colbert, for that observation) and flee Trump's America by trying to emigrate to Canada--without having a real sense of how to do it or how difficult it is to do. 
But the best way to do that is to vote--and not vote conservative, right wing, alt-right, Republican, or Jill Stein.
  • Tut, tut, really, there's nothing to worry about: Sarah's sled dogs will turn on her and eat her alive before she gets as far as Dawson City.
Or she'll quit midway through her term.
Either way, problem solved.
* * *

A silver lining?

Canada, like most Western nations, has concerns about low birthrate, an aging population, and how to maintain societal viability under such circumstances--and immigration, especially immigration that favors young families, is one way to address that.  

(Editor's note: As I have discovered in my efforts to apply for permanent residency in Canada, one gets zero points for being over 50, single, and childless. This means that even with a work permit, a master's degree, a lengthy professional record, fluency in English and some competency in French, not to mention a well-paying job, I still just barely score high enough to be considered by using the Citizenship and Immigration Canada online analysis tool. But such is life.)

But if Bristol Palin joins Sarah in Ottawa and continues to promote abstinence-only sex education in Canada--all the while caring for her two children born without benefit of marriage--the Canadian birthrate will sky rocket!

Cross-border diplomacy achieved--and problem solved again.