The root of the matter

It should be noted that wherever I go, I'm always late. And I'm especially late to gatherings with friends and parties.

For example . . .

Spotted on the floor of my gym's locker room yesterday afternoon. Hard (pun intended) to read I realize, but I was in a hurry to take this photo before someone walked in on me. Apparently, whomever went through the contents of this box of Lifestyles Skyn large-sized condoms did not experience the same sense of discomfort and anxiety.

In fact, what they experienced would be quite the opposite, I imagine.

I'm a little dubious of the realness of this moment, tripping over an empty box of large-sized condoms in my gym locker room, a place with lots of pulchritude, indeed, but of a more posing and posturing nature rather than a performing one. But, then again, I never venture into the sauna or steam room.

It just seems too pat, too perfect, more advertising than accident. It makes me think that,

• My gym is full of liars
• My gym is full of braggarts
• My gym should be all-male and clothing optional

Stat.

Or does the YMCA already do that?