Only in Western Pennsylvania

And neighboring Ohio. And sometimes West Virginia.

Proof that . . . that . . . well, stuff happens here.

• A rock slide on Mount Washington blocks the main road up to this heavily populated neighborhood. Rock slides happen so often in our ever-shifting urban geography, I couldn't even find a news article about the event. Seriously, our local weather forecast should always go something like this: Mostly cloudy and rainy, with a 50 percent chance of rock slides. And they happen not just in little out of the way places but on the Route 28 freeway, Boulevard of the Allies, and, yes, even Mount Washington.
• Pittsburgh metropolitan area regularly ranked #1--this time for worst, most structurally deficient bridges in the U.S. For a region of over 2 million people, 3 rivers, and hundreds of bridges, this is no small worry/no mean feat. Congratulations, Pittsburgh! More bridge drops, collapses, and reconstruction awaits you!
• Amish men shame other Amish men by cutting their beards. It's like some totally psychosexual crime committed by Mo, Larry, and Shemp. I'm reminded of that spoof from The Onion several years ago about the Amish porn channel. The old Late Night with Conan O'Brien did an even more elaborate (and funnier) video version of the channel, which involved women churning butter in a rapid-fire manner. Sorry, can't find the clip, and, besides, this is a family blog.
• Which makes me wonder . . . If there were an Amish version of SoapNet, would a catfight in Amish country mean that the women spend the big face-off untying each others' bonnets in a fit of pique? Throwing glasses of milk in each others' faces? Would an extramarital affair involve being seen riding in the same buggy with a man who is not your spouse? Or letting your horse "accidentally" wander into another man's pasture to graze? 'Cause I could so get into that channel.
  
• There's a monkey on the loose near Zanesville, Ohio. That monkey may have herpes. This is apparently the story's hook, according to reporting by various local TV stations. I wonder why this particular detail is so important to stress. I mean, how likely is it that any of us would ever find ourselves in need of the STD history of a monkey?
• Thinking about that in relation to where I live sends a chill up my spine. Move. Soon. To a less-likely-to-f*ck-a-monkey kind of place.
• (11:24 pm) Oh wait, the monkey may have been eaten by a lion. But, wow, the local news teams were all over that monkey-with-herpes story. It's like they had a monkey with herpes on their back. Or something.

What does one do with this amalgamation of knowledge? Other than share it with the wider world?